“I” Statement – When a person feels that they are being blamed – whether rightly or wrongly – it’s common that they respond with defensiveness. “I” statements are a simple way of speaking that will help you avoid this trap by reducing the feelings of blame. A good “I” statement takes responsibility for one’s own feelings, while tactfully describing a problem.
This sheet offers alternative ways of managing conflict, such as
This diagram illustrates the Flight Fight Freeze repsponse.
Active listening: treating listening as an active process, rather than a passive one. This means participating in conversation, rather than acting as an audience. Active listeners show that they are listening, encourage sharing, and strive to understand the speaker.
Traffic Light System is an illustration of the different degrees of emotion, from feeling fine, things progressing and things have got out of control. The purpose of this is raise awareness of when a situation is heading towards amber or red.
Sometimes in relationships we become so focused on the problems that we forget to see our partner as a person. You can strengthen your relationship by learning more about your partner, and discussing their thoughts and feelings.
Cognitive distortions are irrational thoughts that can influence your emotions. Everyone experiences cognitive distortions to some degree, but in more extreme forms they can be harmful. This sheet looks at cognitive distortions in order to heighten our awareness.
Fair Fighting Rules help us to remain respectful, and discuss what is relevant while refraining from unhelpful behaviour such as stonewalling, using degrading language, and yelling.
Relationship Growth Activity
This simple but effective worksheet helps couples to explore and discuss relationships from your partner’s perspective. It is useful in helping couples see what the other person sees.
Stretch Social Muscle
Esther Perel talks about “How to stretch our social muscle”. A very useful video with tips and suggestions.
In this video you will have a chance to become familiar with the concept of Ego States and how they drive how we feel and behave.
This section is free to anyone and aims to provide resources and worksheets for people to work on in between sessions or as a stand alone. If you are interested in working with me on a topic you have seen on this page please feel free to get in touch through the bottom of this page at Contact Me.