Therapy for Adults, Couples and Teens
Depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. Treating depression and anxiety is a complex task because there are many causes. Some of the more widely recognised reasons are:
The NHS have a great tool called Mood Self-assessment Quiz.
Click here to self-refer for counselling. Fees and cancellation information can be found here.
The experience of a healthy relationship is vitally important for our well-being. The counselling relationship can play a huge part in the well-being of clients. Clients usually engage in therapy because something is not quite right in their life, and they are seeking guidance and support from someone independent and impartial. Counsellors are trained in walking this journey with clients, however, they cannot walk the journey alone or for the client.
So exactly what is happening while in a healthy relationship, and what makes a good ending to therapy so valuable? Counsellors are trained to listen, be present, understand without judgement, and offer clients acceptance for who they are. Possibly for the first time in a client’s life, they can experience a healthy relationship in which they can be themselves without fear, judgement, or shame. They can feel safe enough to risk being authentic.
Once the therapeutic relationship is present, a client may face difficult situations with more confidence, because they are no longer alone in their struggle. They are now being attended to. Therapia in Latin means to “attend to”. To be attended to while on a journey of self-discovery and change can be highly comforting and reassuring. When we are young, we might have looked back at a parent for reassurance before taking our first steps, riding our bike without stabilisers, going off to school for the first time, or walking down the aisle. Therapy can provide that element of reassurance, without authority, pressure, or judgement.
Often, client’s unhappiness with the world around them is really unhappiness about themselves in the world. Unrealised dreams and missed opportunities can often lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and even resentment towards others for how we have become. Therapy is an excellent way of getting back on track.
A healthy counsellor/client relationship can bring about what is needed for healing to take place. Clients may experience being well, in the presence of another, i.e. the therapist.
When a client experiences the restorative healing benefits of a healthy relationship, they begin to realise they are ok in the world. This now means they no longer need the guidance or support of the therapist, and the relationship comes to a natural end.
We know how to end unhealthy or unwanted relationships. We generally lack experience in ending good and healthy relationships. Ending therapy can be avoided by some. Sometimes people move, jobs end, or a loved one passes away, thus giving an unwanted or unwelcomed end to a good relationship. This can be experienced as loss or grief, which can be painful, so it is no wonder that we don’t linger too long in this experience.
Clients often become keenly aware of how important the relationship between therapist and client has been to them. This acknowledgement, or at least awareness, can be profound. By ending the therapeutic relationship, the client is now saying ‘I am now accepting responsibility for my presence in the world and my well-being’.
Avoid sending a text when you are ready to end therapy, when possible. Plan your ending, take charge of how it looks, have a cup of tea and a cake. It is worth the effort, and so are you.
To experience the closure of a good ending to a healthy relationship brings healing. Get in touch to begin that journey.
Also published at Counselling Directory
Sheepish Production Presents Communicate, a play about one couple’s journey through bereavement, love, grief, pregnancy, superheroes and enforced pen maintenance. From award nominated Sheepish Productions, this is an intimate and gripping story about life and death, developed in association with Cruse Bereavement Care.
“I should have mentioned it before, my Mum, she, last year, she passed”.
James is suffocated by his past. Heather is focusing on the nursery. It deals with the importance of talking about how you feel and not letting your past determine your future.
“…brilliant show. Moving, real, funny, thought-provoking and intriguing. Best of all it dealt with a “difficult issue” but with characters you cared about.” – Tom Bailey, Organiser of Love Arts Leeds
“Bloody lovely, heart-breaking and funny” – Jo West (playwright)
“So powerful and moving” – Audience Member (Theatre Deli, Sheffield)
Sheepish Productions first play, Shadow On Their Wall, received a Best New Writing Nomination and ★★★★ reviews from Fringe Guru and York Mix Mag. Their second play, a black comedy called The Last Motel, received ★★★★ reviews.
Age guide: recommended 12+
11 October 2019: Barnfield Theatre, Exeter: With a post-show panel discussion with
https://www.barnfieldtheatre.org.uk/communicate/
A splinter in your finger or a pebble in your shoe are both uncomfortable physical sensations. If we experience either, we are encouraged to reach for the tweezers or take our shoe off, to relieve our discomfort.
When we feel anxious, sad or angry for example, we are presented with a host of uncomfortable physical sensations. Some of the physical sensations can be dizziness, heart palpitations, tummy discomfort or muscle tension.
Like with the splinter or the pebble we seek to remedy the situation. We ask questions and investigate. We draw our attention to the discomfort and without much thought we are able to take action because we’ve dealt with this before and it worked, therefore we know that a pair of tweezers will help the pain experienced by the splinter.
What do we do when we experience uncomfortable emotions? Do we pay close attention or do we label these sensations (called feelings) and ignore them?
Whether we think an emotion is “good” or “bad” it is part of a group. Emotions come as a package not in isolation. When we discount our feelings by minimising them, we are in some way doing this for all feelings and emotions. If we succeed in dampening one, we might discover that the ones we desire such as joy, love or pride are dampened as well.
So it is easy to see how we can get into a sticky situation where we no longer experience healthy emotional levels and feel flat, we could be heading for depression. Another extremity is feeling too much emotion and being overwhelmed when we can no longer manage emotions in a healthy way which could be anxiety. If you are nodding your head and thinking “yes, I can see that” and want to learn new healthy ways of managing your emotional discomfort, I would encourage you to give time to the negative emotions as well as positive. This does not mean to say that we pity ourselves.
I will leave you with this question – “are you seeking relief from an emotional splinter?”
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