BACP Registered Therapist Offering Anxiety Therapy for Adults and Teens, Relationship Counselling for Couples in Exeter and Across the UK

Therapy for Adults, Couples and Teens

Depression and Anxiety Counselling in Exeter

Depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand.  Treating depression and anxiety is a complex task because there are many causes.  Some of the more widely recognised reasons are:

    • Health conditions
    • Trauma and grief
    • Changes and stressful events
    • Medications
    • Drugs (prescription and non-prescription) and alcohol use

The NHS have a great tool called Mood Self-assessment Quiz.

 

Click here to self-refer for counselling.  Fees and cancellation information can be found here.

October News! Sheepish Production presents Communicate, a Play about Grief

Communicate

Sheepish Production Presents Communicatea play about one couple’s journey through bereavement, love, grief, pregnancy, superheroes and enforced pen maintenance. From award nominated Sheepish Productions, this is an intimate and gripping story about life and death, developed in association with Cruse Bereavement Care.

“I should have mentioned it before, my Mum, she, last year, she passed”.

James is suffocated by his past. Heather is focusing on the nursery. It deals with the importance of talking about how you feel and not letting your past determine your future.

“…brilliant show. Moving, real, funny, thought-provoking and intriguing. Best of all it dealt with a “difficult issue” but with characters you cared about.” – Tom Bailey, Organiser of Love Arts Leeds

“Bloody lovely, heart-breaking and funny” – Jo West (playwright)

“So powerful and moving” – Audience Member (Theatre Deli, Sheffield)

Sheepish Productions first play, Shadow On Their Wall, received a Best New Writing Nomination and ★★★★ reviews from Fringe Guru and York Mix Mag. Their second play, a black comedy called The Last Motel, received ★★★★ reviews.

Age guide: recommended 12+

11 October 2019: Barnfield Theatre, Exeter: With a post-show panel discussion with

https://www.barnfieldtheatre.org.uk/communicate/

“How many sessions do I need?”

counting sessions

The age old question of “how long will it take” is something that I get asked occasionally. Firstly, I would like to address the concept of “need”. As a therapist, I don’t believe anyone “needs” therapy. I believe that there can come a time when we may benefit from talking to another person who is not a friend, relative or co-worker. My view is that there is no right or wrong number of session to have. One person may decide that a few sessions will help them to clear their minds while another person is interested in long-term goals and personal development.

Some factors in deciding on when to end therapy;

  • Finances – Therapy can be considered a luxury if finances are limited, however it can also be a great form of support to keep one going in the face of hard times.
  • Timing – As they say, “timing is everything” and I believe this to be true. It is important that clients come when they are ready. Are you one who acts as soon as a problem is noticed or do you wait until things are at a breaking point? Whatever your personal timing is is fine, however it will have a direct impact on results. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” is appropriate in this case. 
  • Issue – Another factor could be the issue itself. Disagreements with ones boss over a pay rise can may be dealt with over a short period of time. Issues such as long term abuse or long term addiction can be more embedded and may benefit from longer term sessions.
  • Additional support – Working on issues without support can in some cases mean that the process can be protracted. It can be helpful to have a support network.  It is a good idea to access other means of support.  Pinpoint is a great site for additional support services.
  • Compatibility – Finding a therapist that you are comfortable with is important to the process.  We access and process emotional content when we are not under threat with less difficulty.  Therefore having a therapist that we are comfortable is an important factor. The longer it takes a client to feel comfortable, the longer the process will take. Likewise, the more comfortable the better.
  • Privacy concerns – Sometimes clients are concerned about privacy and may not wish for others to know they are attending therapy.  For this reason, I allow enough time between sessions for the next client to arrive in privacy. 

These are just a few of the factors that determine how long that piece of string is for you. Ultimately, having a goal in mind can be a big factor in the time you spend working with a therapist. Goal setting provides structure to therapy and identifies when you have reached a comfortable place to end.

No matter what the reason for seeking therapy is, counselling can be a valuable experience.  I work out of the centre of Exeter in Gandy Street and Pinhoe area, Exeter, which is near Broadclyst, West Clyst, Sowton , Cranbrook and Rockbeare.

Also published with Counselling Directory.

Should we ignore negative emotions?

A splinter in your finger or a pebble in your shoe are both uncomfortable physical sensations. If we experience either, we are encouraged to reach for the tweezers or take our shoe off, to relieve our discomfort.

When we feel anxious, sad or angry for example, we are presented with a host of uncomfortable physical sensations. Some of the physical sensations can be dizziness, heart palpitations, tummy discomfort or muscle tension.

Like with the splinter or the pebble we seek to remedy the situation. We ask questions and investigate. We draw our attention to the discomfort and without much thought we are able to take action because we’ve dealt with this before and it worked, therefore we know that a pair of tweezers will help the pain experienced by the splinter.

What do we do when we experience uncomfortable emotions? Do we pay close attention or do we label these sensations (called feelings) and ignore them?

Whether we think an emotion is “good” or “bad” it is part of a group. Emotions come as a package not in isolation. When we discount our feelings by minimising them, we are in some way doing this for all feelings and emotions. If we succeed in dampening one, we might discover that the ones we desire such as joy, love or pride are dampened as well.

So it is easy to see how we can get into a sticky situation where we no longer experience healthy emotional levels and feel flat, we could be heading for depression. Another extremity is feeling too much emotion and being overwhelmed when we can no longer manage emotions in a healthy way which could be anxiety. If you are nodding your head and thinking “yes, I can see that” and want to learn new healthy ways of managing your emotional discomfort, I would encourage you to give time to the negative emotions as well as positive. This does not mean to say that we pity ourselves.

I will leave you with this question – “are you seeking relief from an emotional splinter?”

Are you experiencing that feeling of being “stuck”?

Are you experiencing that feeling of being "stuck"?
Have you ever felt that you were not living to your full potential? Would you use the word “stuck” when describing how you feel in life? Do you wish you could just “get on with it”, like you see others do? I like to use the analogy of a bird that stays in the cage, even though the door is open. Invisible barriers. While the bird can fly, and other birds do fly, one does not, but longs to. What gets in the way? What is that invisible barrier? Why does the bird not fly, even though there is no physical barrier?

Outdated messages

We are conditioned from childhood to be cautious, to keep us safe, and perhaps rightly so. “Don’t jump on the bed, you will fall off and break your arm” or “Don’t talk to stranger”. These messages serve us when we are kids, however they serve to limit us when we are older and want to achieve more with our lives. The child who was told not to jump on the bed, may survive youth intact, however they might not grow up to be risk takers. The child who does not talk to strangers may be safe, however may not feel overly confident in speaking in public.

False messages

Have you ever said “I can’t do that” or “I am not good at that”? Again, like outdated messages, false messages can be unhelpful and inhibitive. We can often tell ourselves things that are actually not true. When I hear “I can’t” I always think of the phrase “We can put a man on the moon, so why can’t…”. How does the bird leave the cage which he is imprisoned by? The following steps could be useful:
  • Be clear about what it is you would like to do that you are not currently able to
  • Look at the message that comes up when you think of doing what you want to
  • Challenge the message, “is it true”? Sometimes the answer is yes, which means looking for alternative ways to achieve what you would like. If the answer is no, ..
  • Begin to test the theory and learn to replace the message with a helpful and more accurate message, such as “I can do it, if I have help”,
In most cases “can’ts” are in the mind and are not accurate. We know when something is truly impossible and struggle less than when we know deep down that things are possible. I would invite anyone who experiences a feeling of being stuck to examine the evidence and challenge the outdated and false message that are holding you back from doing or achieving your desires.